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Yıl:2021; Cilt: 4; Sayı: 7>> Özet
TAM METİN
Türkiye Bütüncül Psikoterapi Dergisi; 2021;4(7):55-60
Ruhsal Doğumdan Bedensel Doyuma Yolculukta Kadın İçin Erkek
F Tuzgöl
Dr. Kamil Tuzgöl Özel Muayenehanesi, Ankara
İnsan yavrusunun ruhsal gelişimi ve bütünleşmiş bir kendiliğin inşası açısından annelerin gelişimsel dönemlerdeki eşlik edişi önemlidir. Her bir insan yavrusunun annesi ile kurduğu ilişkinin kaliteli olması ve annenin bebeğinin gelişimi esnasında eşduyumsal empati yapması, bebeğinin hem gelişimi açısından hem de öznelliği açısından çok önemlidir. Annenin bebeğini biricik olarak görüp onun doğuştan getirdiği öz potansiyellerini hayata taşımasında vereceği destek tüm yaşamı boyunca kullanacağı çok önemli bir ruhsal yakıttır. Annenin çocuğu için sunduğu bu ortam ve aralarında kurulan bu ilişki Kohut’un “Kendiliknesnesi” dediği bir işlevi sunar. Bu işlevin sunulmasında, sağlıklı bir şekilde sağlanmasında annenin hem ruhsal hem fiziksel hem de sosyal anlamda iyilik hali gereklidir. Bu iyilik halini sağlayacak olan şey, annenin kendi ruhsallığında bulunan kendilik kapasiteleri kadar aynı zamanda özellikle ilk üç yıl o kendiliknesnesi işlevini sağlayacak olan anneye destek olması gereken babadır, erkektir. Bir anne ile çocuğun hem birlikte var olması hem çocuğun hayatının ilk üç yılındaki gelişimsel süreçlerini tamamlaması, ardından gelen anneden bebeğin ayrışması süreçlerinde babanın hem toplumsal anlamda hem de aile süreçleri bağlamında önemi büyüktür. Bahsedilen gelişimsel süreçlerde insan yavrusunun varoluşunda asıl önemli olan konu kadın ya da erkek olarak konumlanmasından çok fiziksel ve ruhsal anlamda sağlıklı bir insan olarak nasıl var olacağının gerçekleşmesidir. Aynı şekilde yaşadığımız toplumda oldukça sık görülmek üzere, çocuğun psikolojik gelişiminin inşasında, anne ve babanın görev dağılımının çoğu zaman adaletsiz olduğu ve bu görevlerin çoğunun kadına yüklendiği görülmektedir. Bu sorumluluğun en sağlıklı şekilde gerçekleştirilmesinde en değerli kişi anneye destek verecek olan evdeki erkektir. İşte bu destekteki görevini sağlıklı bir şekilde yerine getiren erkeğin katkılarıyla mutlu, huzurlu, sosyal, ruhsal ve bedensel olarak sağlıklı bir kadın gelişimsel anlamda bebeğine en doğru ruhsal yaklaşımı ortaya koyacaktır. Bu sağlıklı ortam topluma faydalı ve ruhsal anlamda sağlıklı bireyler yetişmesine katkı sunarken aynı zamanda kadın ve erkeğin konumu açısından daha uyumlu bir toplumsal söylemin oluşmasına katkı sağlayacaktır. Kadın ve erkeğin ruhsal gelişim süreçlerinde toplumsal söylemin ve kültürel kodlarımızın etkisini bilerek ve daha sağlıklı bir aile ortamının oluşumunda muhtemel katkılarını düşünerek kadın için erkek hareketinin daha sağlıklı ve mutlu bireyler oluşmasında katkı sağlayacağı ifade edilebilir. Bu bağlamda insan ruhsallığında öznelliğin çalışıldığı bu kongre ve benzeri çalışmalarda anne, baba ve çocuğun uyumu ile kadına desteğin öneminin bilimsel olarak da vurgulanması gerektiğini ve bunun toplumsal bir sorumluluk olduğunu ifade edebiliriz
On A Journey From Psychological Birth To Body Satisfaction He For She
In terms of the psychological development of the human infant and the construction of an integrated self, the accompaniment of mothers in developmental periods is important. The quality of the relationship that each human child establishes with his mother and the mother’s empathy during the development of her baby are very important for both the development and subjectivity of her baby. The support that the mother will give to her baby as unique and to bring her innate potentials to life is a very important psychological fuel that s/he will use throughout her life. An environment that the mother presents for her child and this relationship established between them offer a function that Kohut calls “Selfobject”. Both mental, psychological and social well-being of the mother are necessary to present this function and to provide it in a healthy way. The thing that will provide this well-being is the father, the man, who should support the mother who will provide that selfobject function especially in the first three years, as well as the self-capacities found in the mother’s own psyche. Both the coexistence of a mother and the child, the completion of the developmental processes of the child in the first three years of life, and the subsequent separation of the baby from the mother, the father is of great importance both in the social sense and in the context of family processes. In the developmental processes mentioned, the most important issue in the existence of the human infant is the realization of how to exist as a physically and psychologically healthy person, rather than positioning it as a woman or a man. Likewise, it is seen that the distribution of the duties of the mother and father is often unfair in the construction of the psychological development of the child, and it is seen that most of these duties are attributed to women. The most valuable person in realizing this responsibility in the healthiest way is the man at home who will support the mother. A happy, peaceful, socially, psychological and physically healthy woman will reveal the most correct psychological approach to her baby in a developmental sense with the contributions of the man who fulfills his duty in this support in a healthy way. While this healthy environment will contribute to the raising of individuals who are beneficial to the society and mentally healthy, it will also contribute to the formation of a more harmonious social discourse in terms of the position of men and women. Knowing the impact of social discourse and cultural codes on the mental development processes of men and women and considering their possible contribution to the formation of a healthier family environment, it can be stated that the he for she will contribute to the formation of healthier and happier individuals. In this context, we can state that the importance of the harmony of mother, father and child and support for women should be emphasized scientifically in this congress and similar studies where subjectivity in human psychologicality is studied and that this is a social responsibility

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